


Deathbed

by Captain_Angst



Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Character Death, F/M, M/M, Song based fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 12:04:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10616547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Angst/pseuds/Captain_Angst
Summary: Steve is laying in his deathbed, but he isn't alone... (Based on the song Deathbed by Relient K)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I hope you guys enjoy this little short. I recently made a Steve/Tony playlist and the song "Deathbed" by Relient K just practically screamed Steve to me. So I had to write something about it. I'll give you guys a link to the playlist if you wanna check it out too. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_5wU6QP6q2WTb_jC9OTk4vCiftIZEp1c

He was down, and he knew it. He was going to die there on the steps of that courthouse. He wasn’t immortal, and he accepted that. But… he felt like he was being robbed of life. He was still young, even if he was over a century old at this point. He was still young… He didn’t have the chance to slow down yet- maybe start a family. Steve sputtered up some blood as his eyes closed. He thought back to what was and what could have been in his final moments.

 

_The year was 1926, and I was eight years old. I was far too young to understand the stories of battles and glory my mother told me. My dad was a soldier, and for a while I thought that he went off and died in the war, but I learned that it wasn’t true. He came back after a while but left again. Or really, my mother had kicked him out. He was a drunk after the war… and he hit her. She couldn’t take it anymore because she knew one day he was going to hit me, too. She taught me a very important lesson because of him: you always get up. No matter how bad the fight is, you always need to get up. From that I realized what a father should be like, and I promised myself that I would never be like mine._

 

_The year was ‘32, and I was fourteen. I didn’t get into much trouble when it came to bad habits, lots of kids were getting into booze and smokin’. But I couldn’t do that. I didn’t want to be a drunk like my father and my lungs could barely handle a hot day let alone a cigarette.That never stopped Bucky though, he seemed to pick up those habits early.We always took care of each other, making sure we didn’t go too far. I made sure he didn’t get drunk off his ass before heading home to his Ma, and he pulled me out of fights I couldn’t win. I guess that was my filthy habit. I was such a little punk, looking back on it… I took on so many guys bigger than me- bigger than Bucky- and somehow always managed to walk away. That was all because of him- He kept me alive._

 

Steve’s eyes fluttered open briefly and he felt himself moving. He was in a plane- probably the quinjet. Someone was taking him to the nearest hospital for help. He knew in his gut this was the end. He was laying in his deathbed, and the starchy, sterile sheets overwhelmed him. His eyes fluttered closed as the sad memories pulled him back into unconsciousness.

 

_I was twenty-one when Bucky first kissed me. I don’t know why it took us so long, but it finally happened. It might have been the fact that Ma had died the year before, and he could tell that I was still broken up about it. It might have been the fact that we were both drunk from the bar- but he kissed me. It was the single best thing that had ever happened to be at that point in my life. He was the best thing I had. We managed to keep it a secret. It was so hard._

 

_I don’t know how many times I got jealous over those girls that got to hang off his arm at the movies.Or fairs. Or Malt shops. I couldn’t hold his hand in public, I couldn’t kiss him anywhere except in our little shitty apartment. I couldn’t marry the person I loved. When I was a teenager and started feeling that way toward Bucky I didn’t know what to do. I was always taught that it was a sin, and I was tempted once or twice to talk to a priest about it. But then I heard what happened to fellas like me… They all seemed to get attacked, and they didn’t always walk away from it. I guess that was another reason why it took us so long._

 

_We had three years together like that before Bucky got drafted. I was jealous, and maybe a little heartbroken. I knew that Bucky didn’t want to go to war, and I know it wasn’t because he didn’t want to serve our country. He didn’t want to leave me. The bastard thought I couldn’t take care of myself, and he worried that if he left I would try to follow him. And of course I did. I didn’t want to leave us on those terms… That night when I met Dr. Erstein changed my life in more ways than one._

 

_Peggy Carter. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever met, and I don’t mean that because of her looks. She was so strong, and straightforward. She meant business and looked so beautiful when she did it. I would do anything for her, but I knew she didn’t need me to help her. She reminded me of my mother, their independent attitudes... I’m sure they would have gotten along well. I thought about that the first time we made love. We somehow managed to get a bedroom for ourselves. As she laid beside me that night I thought about what Ma would have thought of her. I thought about the future we could have together._

 

_Peggy was there for me through so much. She was the one to kick my ass into line. She was the one that made me realize I didn’t have to be resigned to a dancing monkey for the army. She was the one that made me into the hero so many people looked up to. I don’t think I would have lasted as long as I did without her. I knew I changed her too. She was so caring under that professional wall she had to put up to get the respect she deserved. She was there for me after Bucky… I don’t know why I left her. I don’t know why I accepted my death when the plane went down and why I can’t accept it now._

 

_Maybe it’s because I got a second chance. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to fail everyone again. I made new friends, I made a new home here in the 21st century. I fell in love again. I never thought I would after those two, but there was just something about Tony. It wasn’t fair to him though… a part of me still loved Bucky. I couldn’t fully give him my heart and it ate at me some nights. We were two lonely people in love for some wrong reasons. I did love him, but I realized I didn’t  love myself yet._

 

_A piece of paper tore us apart. I knew one of us was going to fail from the start, but I didn’t know it was going to be me. The price wasn’t worth it in the end. So many people had suffered because of the accords and now I’m laying in my deathbed because of it._

 

_Tony, I’m sorry for everything. I am._

_Bucky… I’m just thankful that I got to save you. After everything you had to go through, I can’t help to blame myself._

_Peggy… I guess we’ll finally be having that dance soon._

_I’m sorry to everyone I’ve ever hurt, and I hope that I can be forgiven-_

 

“-eve… Steve? Steve, c’mon man wake up! Please…” He couldn’t open his eyes. The desperate plea didn’t go unheard though. His breathing skipped a beat and a ghost of a smile pulled at pale blood splattered lips.

 

_I can smell the death on the sheets_

_Covering me_

_I can’t believe this is the end_

_I can hear you whisper to me_

_“It’s time to leave_

_You’ll never be lonely again”_

_But this is my deathbed_

_I died here alone_

_When I closed my eyes tonight_

_You carried me home._

 

Steve didn’t die alone though… Two broken distraught brunettes stood beside him. One with a broken metal heart. The other who would never truly remember what he had just lost.  


End file.
